I hooked up with my roommate

My(23F) ex boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my friend(24M) offered me his place to stay. This was about 3 months ago, but we’ve been friends since we were kids so I settled right in.

We’ve always been very comfortable around each other and he’s been doing a great job taking care of me. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and he’s been doing nearly all the cooking/cleaning even taking me to my doctors appointments. I’ve always had some feelings for him but they’ve just escalated recently.

Last night, he came home from a date and brought a girl home. I’ve been pretty jealous of him bringing girls home recently and this time I finally told him how I felt when she had went to the bathroom and we were awkwardly left together in the living room. He was surprised, but apologized then asked the girl to leave making up an excuse about being tired.

I literally poured my heart out I was so emotional and he admitted that he felt the same way but didn’t think that I had feelings for him. He didn’t want to say anything to complicate things. We talked for hours before we finally hooked up and now I’ve been awake in shock while he’s still asleep. So much for not complicating things.

But like where do I go from here? Do I ask him what we are or just play it by ear? I don’t want to move out but I don’t know how this all will work now

TLDR: I hooked up with my roommate and I don’t know where to go from here

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Friend insists on bringing his girlfriend to everything.

Ever since one of my best friends (22M) and his girlfriend (23F) got together the only times she’s not been present when he is is when she’s too busy/lazy, which means that she’s more or less always there. I don’t hate her or think they should stop dating but she's doesn't belong some of the time. For starters, sometimes there are very obvious “guy nights” (that we literally say is a boy’s night out) and he still brings her along because “she said she was interested” or “she’s kind of a tomboy anyway”. It’s usually 4-5 of us (all 22M) who have known each other since elementary school and none of us really wants her around for these hangouts (and some other things, I’ll get into that). When she is around the topic always shifts towards her same 3 hobbies (art, her degree, and the one video game she plays).

I’ve had times when I had just gone through something bad where I asked him to hang out one on one to talk about some personal stuff and he brings her along too. We’ve tried many ways to indicate that she’s not welcome to this one thing or another but it’s not seemed to work, and we’re pretty hesitant to just tell him to stop inviting her straight up as that feels pretty rude, and it’s not affecting us so much that we’re unable to have fun for the most part. Trust me when I say that I’ve given her a lot of chances, but at the end of the day, I can’t get along with her as well as he wants us to, and that’s fine. This sentiment has been echoed by our other friends too.

Alternatively I guess if someone has a way to make her stop trying to insert herself into every conversation and make herself the center of attention every time she’s hanging out with us that’d be nice too. She tagged along to one of our friends’s birthday where she bombarded the karaoke machine with songs that was in her mother tongue and nobody else could sing for over 2 hours and we all had to tolerate it. She refused to do shots and made her boyfriend not drink as much so they just sat there in a corner and kinda ruined the mood for everybody. When another friend brought this up to him he just copped it out to her being “eccentric” and “quirky in a cute way”

They also expect my girlfriend (20F) and her friends to talk a lot with her, despite the only thing they have in common being the fact that they’re girls. My friend seems to think they fit in really well and always asks my girlfriend to invite them out with her friends again. Again I don’t mind her being around some of the time when we go get food or like bowling or darts or a big party or something, and I don’t think she’s a bad person, she just has no place in our group of friends beyond a vague set of shared interests that her boyfriend insists we all shift to now. I don’t know how I should communicate this without antagonizing her or making her not want to hang out with any of us again.

Cut some stuff out because this is already way too long and you probably already get the idea

TL;DR - friend is delusional and thinks his girlfriend is a social butterfly and brings her everywhere but ends up annoying most of us, need to know how to make him stop inviting her to everything without being an asshole.

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I snooped and now am upset. Do I have the right to bring it up?

I (f38) snooped my partners (m35) Instagram account and looked at the accounts he follows. Before we got together a year ago I knew he followed a lot of porn accounts. I told him it was upsetting for me to see him looking at this frequently and said he was happy to unfollow them.

I snooped tonight and saw he has followed a new one. It’s really upset me and I don’t know if have the right to now talk to him about it because I’m the one that snooped. It’s not about him being in the wrong, he is who he is and I know he loves me, this is on me. I’m the one upset. Normally I would just bring it up and talk about how I feel but I feel ashamed because I snooped.

Do I talk to him, own it and tell him it’s really upsetting? Or just find a way to live with it.

Tl:Dr - I checked out what accounts my partner follows on Instagram and he’s followed a new porn one after telling me he unfollowed them as he knows it upsets me.

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How do I tell dad I don't want to keep any relationship with him?

I know it sounds bad but there's a long story behind it. I'm 22F, my mom is 46F and Dad is 48M. 7 years ago my mom cheated on dad. They got divorced and mom started dating the guy she cheated on dad with 35M, they're now married.

My dad has been verbally abusive and greedy throughout his life. I was 15 when they divorced and a custody battle ensued where my mom wont primary custody of me with me spending 2 days a week with dad. He berated mom which was then reasonable for what happened but over time it got so bad he openly told me he wished he could strangle mom. My mom was wrong to have an affair but she's been an incredible mom. She gave birth to my stepbrother 2 years after their divorce.

My dad is always obsessed with mom and her husband. He won't move on and let them move on. He won't seek therapy or any other way that can help him. On the other hand, my mom and her husband have always been supportive of me.

Why do I want to cut my dad from my life? I'm tired of the berating and abuses he hurls my mom. I'm going to move out next year(I'm living with mom and her husband) whenever I stay at dad it's a hellfire for me. What to do?

Tldr: My dad was greedy and now is abusive after my mom cheated on him and remarried. How do I tell him I don't want to keep any relationship with him?

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Looking for a podcast guest to share funny/ bad relationship stories

Hi guys! Recently started a podcast and I’d love to find someone to do an episode with who has a particularly interesting relationship story. (My episodes go for upwards of 40 minutes so please be able to have more than a 5 minute conversation) a little bit about myself…I’m Jake, 22 and gay. Have been in a 3 year relationship plus 2 other shorter ones and have dealt with my fair share of strange men🤣. Gone on a date with the tallest man in Australia (he stole my jacket), dated an AFL umpire and went on 4 dates with a man who’s Dad owned a private jet. Ifyou think you’d be a good fit and have any interesting stories I’d love to hear from you!

TL;DR: looking for a podcast guest, am gay, was engaged at one point in my first relationship, looking for people with interesting stories

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Boyfriend moved in with ex crush and got angry at me for feeling upset about them having dinner and wine alone

Boyfriend (now ex) moved in with a girl (super hot) who he used to have a crush on years ago but no longer present. I told him it made me uncomfortable but it was ok, with time, that feeling would go away and I asked him to be patient with me. And so he was. But we had a few issues in terms of what we found acceptable in a relationship, so we did have a few disagreements but had only argued once about it. We’re both 28 but decided to post here because honestly I am at an age where I wouldn’t mind settling and finding a partner for life (I thought it would be him)

But one night he was having dinner with her and he went and bought pasta, wine and he has never cooked for me before and I felt really bad but didn't say anything to him. But when they were having dinner, he didn't reply to me and he knew I was home alone so it made me jealous. I called him and told him I'm not okay with that but by that time I was really angry and was a bit rude to him and he broke up with me due to my “reaction”.

I apologized and explained myself but he told me he felt nothing for me anymore and that the "sweet girl" image he had of me was gone. I told him that it was the first time I got really upset over something that he would reconsider his decision, but he left me. I begged and pleaded and did all those silly things obviously nothing worked so I asked if we could at least talk in person and after a few days he came over.

When we talked in person about our break up, I asked him if I could have joined them for dinner or having wine with some time, them he said absolutely not, that I wasn't welcomed and this was a moment between the two of them. I felt really hurt hearing this as if it were the other way around, I'd definitely want my SO there or at least wouldn't have replied in that way.

To me, it's different than being out with "the boys" or spending time in a group of friends. When I asked him if she was more important to him than I was he said "absolutely" and you don't get to tell me what I do and I don't with my friends. And I told him that I really don't, but it would be nice to have some sort of reassurance when I'm still getting used to the idea of him moving in with this girl. I've never been through a similar situation before so it was really mentally hard.

Not saying he would physically cheat on me, but that kind of dynamic leaves space for creating a bigger intimacy that in my point of view should happen between your partner and you.

I never asked him to stop being friends with her or move out.

He broke up with me saying it was 100% my fault because I overreacted to which I explained to him it’s been an ongoing issue for me as I’m struggling to be ok with it but at the same time I had never acted that way before, I just got really annoyed at that moment, but I think every relationship there's something you can learn, even when I was in abusive relationships on the other side, I still learnt.

I am frustrated as this is really eating my brain alive because apart from that, we got along great, he was the best to me and I was really nice to him as well, we had good communication, looked after each other, laughed at lot, like legit the best relationship I've ever had because it was so organic and natural, and he would also tell me he felt the same so it's still really fresh. I've spoken to several people telling both sides of the story and most agreed they'd be hurt too in my position but I want some outside perspective too.

Truth of matter is, I am REALLY struggling with this. It was a short relationship and it is hurting so much more than my longer ones. I want to crawl into a hole and not come out.

PS: please don't be mean, this has been really tough on me :(

TLDR: Boyfriend moved in with ex crush and got angry at me for feeling upset about them having dinner and wine alone

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I (31M) feel I don't deserve my girlfriend (26F) and I wonder if I should let her go so she can have someone better.

My girlfriend and I were friends for a year until we got closer and hit it off a year after that. Eventually we got together, and she is everything I ever wanted in a woman. I feel this is the first time I've truly loved somebody and found the right person for me. She has said the same to me too.

But this has been gnawing at me for a while, which is the insecurity I feel with her a lot of times. First, my girlfriend has a day job, but she's also a beautiful singer and has a successful career performing and making her own music. She sings all different kinds of styles (like opera, rock, R&B) and she is genuinely great at them all. She comes from a nice family, she went to a nice college, her life is honestly amazing. Me: I'm a contractor, I had a rough upbringing, didn't go to college, I don't make that much...I know she loves me, but sometimes I don't get why she chose me, and it is very obvious when I am introduced and people learn what I do, they look confused as well. I feel totally out of place in her circles and her life and just our leagues in life.

And then we are an interracial relationship; my girlfriend is Black and I am a white man. There's no easy way to say this but I basically do not feel "cool" enough for her. My girlfriend sings R&B styles often which is a beautiful expression of Black culture but it does make me think of how she could easily choose a Black guy to be with, who understands that world and fits her personality and style better.

Now before this gets misconstrued, this is not some secret plot to get rid of my girlfriend because I actually want someone else (I've seen such accusations made before on Reddit.) I would love to stay with her, our emotional and mental and physical connection is amazing, I honestly don't want to leave her. I sometimes feel like an asshole for feeling this way because my girlfriend tells me almost everyday she loves me, she wants me, etc. but she doesn't know these internal feelings/doubts of mine.

TL;DR My girlfriend is out of my league and I feel a lot of insecurity for being with her. What can I do to alleviate these feelings or what do I need to learn?

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* This article was originally published here