A few years back my boyfriend and I introduced my good friend and his friend to each other. They got on very well and eventually entered a relationship together.
Almost 3 years on, my friend is very much in love and wants to move in and get married to her boyfriend. However, it has just come to light that the boyfriend is in debt because of a gambling problem which he has been hiding from her. This isn’t great at all as my friend believed they would soon have enough money to put a deposit on a house together. She also asked him if he even wanted to move in together, and he wasn’t sure.
She has been speaking to me about this and wants to help get her boyfriend out of debt and fix his gambling problem, but most of all she is very upset and confused as to why he isn’t sure about moving in together.
Now the part where this is tricky for me is that her boyfriend is very good friends with my boyfriend, and he has been speaking about this on the group chat with a few other friends. They keep this chat very light-hearted but one thing he said that stood out to me is; “I do love her, but I am not sure if I love her as much as I should”. He also expressed that he often finds her difficult to be with but said that he can’t break up with her now because its Christmas and her Birthday soon.
My friend does have anger problems and can snap easily if provoked. She could also be considered controlling as well and I get the impression that her boyfriend feels that all she does is complain at him. Her family are verbally aggressive toward one another, so I think this is where she gets it from. I also know she is unhappy with her current situation and feels that moving out into her own place will help.
Her boyfriend keeps very quiet and emotionless about his personal problems which makes this difficult. Having a gambling addiction is sure to impact his mental health. He hasn’t even spoken to his best friends about his problem.
I don’t want to add fuel to the fire, so I am keen for them to work it out. My boyfriend suggested that we sit down with the and ‘mediate’ as they are terrible at communicating, but I think that is a little embarrassing for us all!
I don’t want to ruin my friends Christmas or birthday in a few weeks’ time, although I know this has its pros and cons. I also don’t want to get involved with limited information and cause conflict that they may have been able to resolve together. I really think he should just take some responsibility for his life and tell my friend how he feels as she has no idea at all!
Do you think I should mind my business?
TL;DR! I know my friend’s (24F) boyfriend (25M) of 2 ½ years is considering breaking up with her but doesn’t want to deal wit it until after her birthday next year. I don’t know whether to let them sort it between themselves or tell my friend what I know.
[link] [comments]
* This article was originally published here
No comments:
Post a Comment