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Tuesday, February 14, 2023

I'm [28M] terrified of letting go of my GF [28F] of 4 years as we reach a junction whereby our paths are diverging. Will I regret letting go of love to pursue my goals and ambitions?

Feeling quite desperate around this whole situation and seeking external advice.

We've been together for 4 to 4.5 years and since we are from opposite ends of the world (20 hours flight) we have had a very intense, deep relationship full of shared experiences. We have both lived in each others country for long periods of time, travelled to many different countries together, and lived with each other for almost this whole duration of time.

In this period we've developed our own paths to go after our dreams which has involved moving towards self employment. Unfortunately, it's beginning to feel like our own individual careers/dreams would be better off without the relationship. My business is more profitable when I can travel a lot more, and I would also be able to develop my craft when I can allocate more time to it and less time to my relationship.
As for my GF, she is 1 year into her journey and in order to progress with her career it would benefit her to be able to travel to different places where she can work closer with other people on projects and she would be able to learn more and build an even stronger network to help her breakthrough into an industry which is hard to break through when alone.

Unfortunately, the cities I want to go to for my business are predominantly cities that don't align with the cities my girlfriend wants to go to. It would be really hard for her to follow me because she would have no social network and I'd be wanting to work late hours leaving her feeling isolated from the networks she wants to get closer to.

One way the relationship could potentially work is if I lived with her in Europe and compromised the amount of travelling I'd be doing (e.g. 1 week every 5 weeks), as opposed to the nomadic lifestyle I would otherwise be living. Doing so would result in a less than optimal way for me to grow my business and chase my dreams.

Furthermore, it's worth mentioning that we both don't have any desire to have children within the next 5 years (if at all) and we both don't feel like we are ready to settle.

Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation and can advise me to help make a decision between compromising on my optimal pathway to fulfillment of my ambitions or letting go of a 4 year relationship with a loyal woman who loves me deeply and whom we have shared many rich years of experiences together?

TL;DR 4 year relationship with girlfriend from other side of the world has reached a point where our personal dreams are both being compromised in order to continue the relationship

submitted by /u/ThrowRA_20231234
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* This article was originally published here

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