My gf and I have been together for around 2 years. She came back from work and was talking about one of her co-workers, lets call him James, and his girlfriend, lets call her Beth, and how they're going through a rough patch. Apparently Beth is very insecure which James knows about but according to my James, she has no reason to be. Well one of his friends thought got his gfs name wrong and he told Beth about it.
Well according to my partner, she went really quiet and checked his phone later and told him he's making her more insecure and she was asking why they thought she was called something else. My gf starts ranting about how Beth shouldn't be making her insecurities James' problem and that it's not fair on him. I pointed out that while that is true, James also knew Beth could be insecure and proceeded to tell her his friends thought she was called something else so there was no good outcome really.
My gf just keeps saying how bad it is to be that insecure while you're in a relationship and even if its because of things that happened in the past it's not fair on your partner and my gf would leave someone if they were like that. I pointed out that early in our relationship my gf herself was insecure due to past relationships and started multiple arguments with me when I saw friends, even pretty much ruining 2 weekends away due to her insecurities and accusing me of cheating. I just asked if she thinks I should have left her there instead of working through things like we did and getting to the point we're at.
My gf just said I was wrong for bringing that up and that this is different. I pointed out it isn't that different and she's being a hypocrite by saying how James needs to leave Beth because of how she's acting but then expecting me to forgive her when she did something worse. My gf just repeated that I was being unfair by bringing up the past. Does anyone have any advice?
tl;dr my gf was complaining about her co-workers gf and how everyone at work thinks he should eave her because of her struggling with insecurities but then my gf got annoyed when I pointed out that she had done worse things that her coworkers gf in the first year of our relationship. My gf said I was wrong to bring the past up and that I was being unfair. Does anyone have any advice?
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