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Sunday, June 4, 2023

How do I respond to my very ‘zen’ partner?

My partner (28M) and I (22F) are engaged. He’s a nice guy, but there’s been one thing that gets on my nerves. He’s all about meditation and reading self-help books and growth mindset and watching YouTube shrink videos about how to be your best self. That’s all great, but then he started asking me why I don’t do any of those things.

It went something like, “if you don’t read self-help books, what about your personal growth?” “I want you to be the best version of yourself” “read books XYZ”

The thing is, its great that he does all that. But i just find it so boring. We’ve had different upbringings and lives, where he’s lived alone in a first world country and I’ve grown up among a big social community in a developing country. And I extract my growth and reflections from so many different sources, like my family, my relationships, going to therapy. I’ve even identified and worked on countless things through films and books, but all fiction. I’m addicted to fiction, basically, because I need that form of escapism in my life.

I just don’t know how to respond to him when he asks those things of me. Is it okay to ask him to just let it be? I’ve always been someone who’s worked on themselves by myself. I’ve told him some of these things softly and the constant ‘I want to see you be XYZ’ has stopped, but he still asks me to read self-help books and sends me videos on how to get ahead of the masses.

TLDR: partner loves to ask me to read/watch self help material to be the ‘best versions’ of myself. It annoys me.

submitted by /u/fern_57
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* This article was originally published here

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