My girlfriend (29F) and I (31F) recently had a heated argument amidst personal, career, and family issues. I was hoping she would lend an ear and provide support, but due to my poor communication skills, I failed to express myself clearly. Frustration got the best of me, and I made the mistake of comparing her unfavorably to Redditors, mentioning that I received more sensible responses online than from her when I needed support.
Understandably, she was upset by my comment and confided in her best friend, who interpreted my words as an implication of her intelligence. While I realized the harshness of my statement and intended to apologize, I discovered that her best friend had made several derogatory remarks about me. They accused me of thinking my girlfriend is stupid, avoiding accountability for my actions, blaming her for my career failures, and even telling me that I have an ugly personality.
I confronted her best friend about the hurtful comments without knowing the full context. I also called out my girlfriend for demonizing me without fully understanding the issue and making it about herself. I acknowledged my failure to communicate clearly and apologized for my harsh words. As a result, I decided to sever ties with her best friend, as it will inevitably make things awkward.
My GF asked for forgiveness and In an attempt to process my emotions, I chose not to respond to my girlfriend's messages initially, as she had told me to take my time. However, I eventually went to her place to discuss and resolve our issues.
Unfortunately, I discovered that she had been badmouthing and mocking me to her best friend, claiming I felt like a public figure, only concerned about my reputation being tarnished. Furthermore, she suggested that my friends were neutral towards me because they liked and preferred her company over mine.
Learning about her betrayal deeply hurt me. I had always considered her to be my number one fan, best friend, and confidante—the person who would defend and protect me. Feeling stabbed in the back, I felt betrayed.
My girlfriend is now crying and expressing remorse for the magnitude and impact of her actions. She is begging for forgiveness and the opportunity to work things out.
We had a lot of fights in the past that were far worse than this and I know both of us are in the wrong but we always found a way to work things out with just the two of us.
While I don't want to end the relationship, I'm struggling to find a way to forgive her and move past this situation.
TLDR: I’ve hurt my GF by comparing her to Redditors but instead of us just resolving it together, I caught her backstabbing me to her bestfriend
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* This article was originally published here
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