BF crosses my boundaries constantly

I've been struggling with something in my 3 year relationship and need some advice. My(21f) boyfriend(25m) often crosses my boundaries, but it's never been anything "major".

He'll make jokes about hitting me. He once threw a glass bottle at me (we were laying right next to each other, but still). He also grips my wrist too tightly sometimes, to the point it hurts, and has pinched me really hard in the breast after I made a joke he didn't like. There are times he pushes my head down forcefully, which makes me feel really uncomfortable or slaps my leg so hard it leaves a mark.

He apologizes and promises not to do it again, but it keeps happening which makes me really upset. I'm starting to wonder if I'm overreacting or if these are red flags. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? I feel like he really loves me because he keeps on buying me expensive gifts and cooking for me. And he is nice 95% of the time.

TL;DR: My boyfriend makes "jokes" about hitting me, grips and pinches me painfully, and pushes my head down sometimes. He usually apologizes but keeps doing it. Not sure if I'm overreacting or if these are red flags.

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Can ‘dad jokes’ be good for your relationship with your child? - WTOP

Can ‘dad jokes’ be good for your relationship with your child?  WTOP

* This article was originally published here

My (24M) boyfriend cheated on me (22M) on holiday with a stripper and gave me herpes

For background information we have been together for 3 years and every year he goes on a lads holiday with his friends. In the beginning he kept liking pictures following girls like adding people even though we were together which hurt and I felt disrespected. I communicated this to him but he still kept doing things and making comments even publicly about other people or still liking pictures two years later. His friendship group, half are in relationships but I’ve seen in group chats they just talk about other girls in a really sexual manner and personally when in a relationship I think it’s disrespectful. They also degrade girls based on their appearance and say like mid or how ugly they are when they aren’t the pick of the bunch like I generally do not have a good impression of his friends: I went through an obsessive phase of checking his account and logging into things during this time due to the whole situation making me feel paranoid and anxious but I loved him and kept forgiving him thinking he’d finally change.

But fast forward to three years later every few months I feel like I find some new disrespect but I’ve lost interest in checking all the time and decided I just needed to trust him if it was ever going to improve. We were getting to a better place I felt like so when he went on his holiday this time we had no arguments I didn’t feel anxious and I trusted him. Yeah he’s been disrespectful on social media and done things I wouldn’t do to him but I never thought like physical cheating was something he’d do.

He comes back is acting really nice and like overly lovey but again I had no suspicions, I was even going to sleep before he got back from his nights out because again I trusted him to not physically cheat on me. We sleep together and a day later I start to feel pain down there but think nothing of it. It gets worse so I google my symptoms and everything that is coming up is STDs but I’m in disbelief and brush it off like it can’t be that. So I used a mirror to look and I was swollen and had bumps and I confided in my sister who told me what it sounded like - herpes.

So I booked in to the doctors and got tests done and messaged him saying we needed to talk. He proceeds to ghost me for 2 days and acts like I don’t exist while I’m sat here confused hurt crying like conflicted about what has gone on.

He finally messaged me the truth, well half a truth but I kept pressing cos his story of just being touched at a strip club and sharing a sponge and bed with his mates does not spread an STD. So he told me apparently she just like kissed the top of his dick and he was so drunk it took a while to register what was going on and he left. If anybody knows is that enough to like give someone herpes because I’m still conflicted whether to even believe that.

His reasonings for going to the club were he would be the only one not going in and his mates were robbed in a taxi the night before so he didn’t want to leave by himself, he also thought since I am the only girl he has slept with like he’d have this dance and then it’s out of his system - disgusting. And his friends in relationships too all went with him to this club.

He’s told me how sorry he is and how much he’s fucked up and he realised what he’s done and I feel bad for him because he seems to be so insecure about the fact he lost his virginity late and doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls so I feel like he just tried to fit in with all his friends. He does genuinely seem sorry but I know for a fact no matter how drunk I was I would not do that to him.

I feel conflicted because again he left and how apologetic and guilty he seems to feel like makes me want to forgive him. But at the same time I just feel like I’ve been going through a cycle of being disrespected and hurt for 3 years now. I feel like because we were so good in the beginning and I really love him I just want to see the best in him but surely if he loved me he’s make effort to change and my feelings would be worth more than fitting in with his friends.

I just don’t know what to do and he admitted he wouldn’t have told me what happened so I’m lucky in a Wierd way that I got try is STD even tho it’s made me feel embarrassed dirty and violated. I just don’t know what to do. Does anybody have experience of trying again after somebody has cheated? What was it like? I just don’t know where to go from here.

TL:DR - boyfriend has cheated on me in a stripper club on lads holiday and gave me an STD but seems to be very remorseful and regretful about it and I’m conflicted about what to do, can a relationship still function after the trust is broken like that?

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Booking Same Wedding Venue as Sibling

I am 25F and my sister is 32F. Years ago my fiancé and I planned out our entire engagement and wedding plans well in advance. My sister unexpectedly got engaged a few months before I did and I was so excited for her! She began to plan her wedding for next fall.

After I got engaged there was this unspoken expectation that I would not plan my wedding until 2026 and I told her that I would wait although I was pretty unhappy in doing this. However, recently my dad almost died and had to have a big life altering surgery and I realized that I was the one 20 years from now who would regret it if God forbid my dad wasn't able to walk me down the aisle because I waited for two years. I reasoned with myself that I will not invite out of town guests so as to not impact her wedding and so the wedding planning began for next summer because that's when our anniversary is.

Okay this is where things get kind of messy. I already knew where I wanted my reception from years ago and we live in a town where there's not a huge selection of nice banquet halls and this particular venue is extremely popular in our town for hosting weddings. When my sister started planning her wedding she would go on about how much she didn't like this place, however, she did a tour and decided to book it back in spring. I personally do not see why having my reception at this venue is a threat; my guest list is less than a third of the size of hers, there are maybe 5 guests who overlap, the reception is an a smaller room tucked away in the lower level, and it is an extremely popular venue in our area where many people we know personally have gone. My parents support me as they know I’ve always liked this venue and I’m not booking it to intentionally upset her.

When I told her she completely blew up saying how upset she is that I'm getting married in the same year as her and how she's never felt more low and insignificant in her life. She then texted my mom saying that she's cutting contact with the family, saying my mom betrayed her by allowing me to make my plans, ripping her to shreds even though she wasn't involved at all. For context she has a dog that we take care of for her; my parents love this dog, he is literally grandson to him and they've cared for him for the past decade. Well she said she's not going to allow him to be taken care of by my parents anymore as some sort of punishment and that she'll only have him under our care when she's working.

I just feel really guilty that my mom was dragged into this for absolutely no reason not long after my dad had his surgery.

TL;DR, My dad became extremely unwell and I decided to bump up my wedding by a year and use the venue I wanted to use, but my sister is using the same one.

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A girl I Was talking to left me on Delivered

Can someone provide me with advice?

So I was talking to this girl and our conversation was good. The length of text we sent each other was quite even. Although that was the case it was short lived. She’s been on DnD for 2 days and the last message sent was from me. I haven’t hit her up yet and If I do I plan on setting something up ASAP.

She did seem quite interested and engaged with the conversation. I’ve tought up of what I should text her but I’m not too sure if it will come out right.

Here are a couple of them:

• why did u give me your number • you must have a man • let’s set something up They sound too direct for me

I’m actually quite interested in her and dont want to let things end so easily.

If you have any advice on what or how I should text her, please let me know.

For some reason I feel like I’m being tested?? Maybe I’m being too delusional.

I’m trying to get back to her some time today because I’ve done nothing for 2 days now and I feel like if I left it any longer I’d end up regretting it.

TL; DR; girl I was talking to left me on delivered after having good conversation what should I do?

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Is it delusional to think he [24M] still thinks about me [22F]?

This guy ‘24M’ and I ‘22F’ talked for about two and a half months and it was going great. We were talking about being together and he said he wanted to make it official soon, but then he randomly told me that he didn’t think he was ready for a relationship right now but still really liked me. I was obviously devastated because he was everything I wanted in a partner, but ultimately understood. There is no bad blood and I’m not bitter about the situation since he was very nice about it.

He said he wanted to stay in contact but every time I text or try to get in contact, he was so dry. (we still follow each other on everything since it was a very healthy end) I finally gave up on trying to remain friends but I have noticed that he rewatches my TikTok stories almost every time I post (he usually is the first one to watch and I’ll see him at the top again later in the night). I’m not sure if I’m being delusional and hoping that he still wants me, but I just don’t know why else… What could possibly be going through his mind?

tl;dr Am I being delusional for thinking he still thinks about me because he rewatches my TikTok stories?

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My (21M) Gf(19f) told me that she wouldn’t tell me if she cheated on me.

So my gf and I have been together for about two months. We are in a ldr and I love her with all my heart. We were having a conversation about cheating, and I told her that there is no way that someone can cheat on their partner and still love them. I think that it is Bs, and if someone cheats on their partner, they are being selfish and must not love their partner at all. She disagreed with me saying that shit happens, and that people can cheat on their partner and still love them. So I asked her if she will ever cheat on me and she said, no, not intentionally. I asked her if she did, would she tell me, and she told me no. I asked her so she would just continuously be cheating on me and not telling me and she said no, she would feel terrible and would never do it again, but she wouldn’t tell me. When she said that, I told her that I would want her to tell me even though I would most likely break up with her after she told me. That was all I said then, but now that I’m thinking about it, I think that it’s a huge red flag, and it scares me to think that would cheat on me and never tell me. I feel very uncomfortable knowing this and I want her to assure me that if she ever cheated on me, she would at least tell me. How do I go about bringing this conversation up again, and make her see my perspective?

Tl/Dr: Gf told me that she would never cheat on me, but if she did, she wouldn’t tell me.

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ME 40M years and my wife 39F years married happily together for 15 years. Could advice me how i can go through this situation? i felt like i am cheated

One of my wife's work collogue has one sided emotional infatuation with my wife. my wife rejected him and blocked him completely. then we got married. after 3 years this person got married to our distinct relative. My wife told everything about this person and stopped the contact altogether until his marriage. This Person contacted my wife through my wife's first cousin to let her know he is married now happily, My wife's cousin and this person are close friends. i permitted her to talk with boundaries as they are relative to us. They do only friendly talks in conference calls weekly once or twice for two months. they had a wats app group. then my wife slowly stopped talking with him altogether. Later i came to know that this person calls everyone with endearment terms like honey, dear etc.. i asked my wife how he used to address you. she said mostly name and sometimes honey. She use to update me about their calls and show messages. but she did not tell this particular word he used. she is saying it seems trivial for her, that person called everyone that way even in workplace not specifically to me. it is harmless/ meaningless to her. That to during the calls he address just once with honey, mostly he address by her name. i sued to addressed him by his name not used any endearment terms not even once. i was looking at the overall situation not the trivial things. what can i do now, i stopped contacting him altogether. whatever you want me to do now i can do, i cant change the past. I am not able to get over this i fell like i got cheated. what you guys think. i expected from my wife to say don't use these kinds of words with me , it should be used only by my husband.

She saying she spoke to him as he got married so he moved on his life. he married to our relative so there may be situation we have to meet each other. so for the basic human courtesy i talked with him with your permission. He did not do any personal messages except his birthday wishes which i told to you.

he made three or four personal calls. i talked only for 1/2 min. as he is trying to make more personal calls i cutoff the contact completely

I ponder like if third person hear this conversation why they will think about my wife. he is cheating on me right

TL;DR! is this the instance of cheating? how to bounce back from this

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My (27M) GF(29F) touches me sexually and it makes me uncomfortable

My (27M) GF(29F) touches me sexually and it makes me uncomfortable

To try to wrap the story short.

I've been with my Gf for 7 months now in a long distance relationship. Usually we see each other once a month for 7-9 days. What bothers me is the ammount of sexual touch I get. It kind of makes me less and less interested in any sexual activity.

Whenever she gets a Chance she squeezes my groin, slaps my ass, starts Playing with my nips, calls it cake etc. When I try to take away her hand from my chest she laughs it off and keeps pushing, it kinda creeps me out. Honestly it Turns me off/ makes me uncomfortable and I think she noticed some Changes, like me not really wanting to have sex.

Honestly I have no idea how to approach this topic with her. How do I bring it up and resolve it?

TLDR: How do I approach the situation of unwanted sexual touch with my gf?

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Local nonprofit helps Missourians build healthy relationships - Columbia Missourian

Local nonprofit helps Missourians build healthy relationships  Columbia Missourian

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I (19m) want to repair my relationship with my gf (19f)

so me (19m) and my gf (19f) of almost 2 years broke up about a month ago and i’m completely lost. we first met at work when we where 17 and we started dating after our second date. we loved each other straight away. from the moment i met her i knew i wanted her to be my wife. we went through rough periods as all relationships do but as we where both very young we didn’t know how to fix them. we ended up breaking up and getting together constantly until we split up for about 2 months. i thought it was completely over but i messaged one of her friends and asked her to tell her to talk to me. we ended up meeting up and got back together for another 6 months. up until a month ago when we broke up again. this time i have a feeling it’s completely over but i don’t think i can live life without her. i need to get her back but i don’t know how. i know a lot of the reasons we broke up was my fault and i will change for the better i just need to let her now that. who has advice on what I should do?

—- tldr i want to fix my relationship and get back with my gf

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How tf do I get over him???

It’s been over a year, he’s M/28 been with his new girlfriend F/29 (who was actually my “friend”) for that same amount of time, and in reality we never truly dated.

As my “friend” (his now gf) liked call it, I was his foster girlfriend who he would come back to whenever no one else was giving him attention. Mind you outside of that he was my best friend. No one knew me F/28 the way he did. But relationship-wise just kept passing me up for his ex and/or other women.

Idk if you can even call this a situationship tbh. But he always said, “we’re basically in a relationship just without the sex.” (We had sex only twice but lots of phone sex). We’d work together all the time, be on the phone 24/7 and literally wake up together and fall asleep together on the phone if we weren’t at each others place.

At some point we confessed having feelings for each other at some point. But at the time he was messing around with different one of my friends and said at least we got that out of our systems and nothing can happen between us again. But things just kept happening.

In the end he decided to get with one of my friends even though I begged him not to and STILL expected us to be besties. So I cut them both off after completely breaking down like I’ve never seen before.

I think this is the worst I’ve ever been affected by a man. And yes I know I was being very very stupid. But I fell in love with the man that gave me gf treatment when he wasn’t occupied with someone else. And it made me feel good.

Anyway TL;dr I can’t stop thinking about this guy. So please, please, someone tell me how to get over him… I just want to be happy.

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15 years later and still thinking about my ex

It’s been close to 15 years since I (M42) stopped seeing her (F/47). I was out blowing off steam from the work week with the boys. Out at the bar having a few beers and laughs. This woman walks in with a friend. I don’t recall who said something but they stopped at our table and started talking. Drinks were bought for them and I hear, Im happily married but she’s not!! My ears perk up immediately like the idiot I was in my early 20s. So we end up dancing together. She is the most gorgeous woman I ever laid eyes on. I completely ignored the fact that she was married.

After the bar she comes to wear I am at having a few more beers. We end up just sitting in her car talking the rest of the night. We kissed for a while. The best kiss I’ve had to this day. I had never felt anything like it. Instant connection. So we basically end up in this full blown affair for 2 or so years. I finally end it because I decided enough is enough. She was never going to leave. It hurt like hell but it had to happen. Two weeks I guess later she filed for divorce. She started seeing other people as did it. I still thought about her more days than not. Fast forward. I’m married now with a ten year old daughter. She’s married again. When I started seeing my wife I cut all connectivity to her. Seemed fair to my wife I thought. Things have been not well with my marriage. She cheated for about a year seems like. We are trying to get over that. Then one day out of the blue I message the ex. I don’t know why. I just did. I didn’t really expect a response. But I was wrong. We have been talking back and forth most of the day now for a few weeks. I’m not this guy. I don’t do things to hurt people I care about. I didn’t want to be in an affair in the first place. But I’ll be damned if I dont still have feelings as strong as I ever did for this woman. I don’t know why or how but for some reason when it comes to me and her, nothing is off the table. I’ve never felt anything like this with another woman and I never will. I can’t stand the thought of hurting my wife even though she cheated. But I feel like it’s coming. Why after all this time do I find myself wanting the life I feel like I never got a fair shot at even though I already have this life I created? I’m miserable here and I know why but the guilt is eating me alive. I know I’m a piece of crap for all of it so spare me your judgement. I just want to understand how I can feel so strongly for someone I can’t have.

Tl;dr: I find myself still in love with my ex from 15 years ago and I don’t know why. It was a long affair from long ago but how I felt about her never changed. I hate that it will ruin my family but at the same time my family is already messed up from an affair my wife previously had. If you’d like to comment your opinion on the reason I feel this way then I suppose I welcome it. If not I would not have shared. I’m not sure if I did all this the right way. May not even be able to post it lol.

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The 3 Most Overlooked Relationship Compatibility Signs, According to an Expert - Newsweek

The 3 Most Overlooked Relationship Compatibility Signs, According to an Expert  Newsweek

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Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches porn that doesn't resemble me?

(bf of 5 years 26M, I'm 28F). I personally don't view it as cheating, moreso as disrespectful in like a "wanting something/someone else with different body types than me to be able to get off," kinda situation, which is enough to upset me if I'm being honest. Enough to make me cry or feel like I'm not what he actually wants sometimes, even.

I realize a lot of people my age don't get upset over it, but my boyfriend and I don't watch it together, mostly just when I accidentally walk in on him watching and get sad that he'd rather fantasize about someone else than to romantasize me instead and drag me to the bedroom (I have a relatively high sex drive, but we don't have sex more than once every couple weeks).

To be honest, I watch porn frequently too, but only 1. due to our lack of sex and 2. the videos I choose actually resemble his body type, or even race. And when I do, I think of him.

I only ask because when he watches it, he watches instagram-model types of women with perfect bodies, cuter faces, aesthetics, etc. None of whom look anywhere close to me, at least in a way I could change without surgery.

I understand how common it is, but I want to understand more if it's even right for me to be upset. It makes me believe that if any women like this actually gave him the time of day, he would potentially leave me (even if that thought is unreasonable and he did nothing else for me to actually entertain that thought). And that's coming from a place of me not watching anyone that even remotely doesn't look like him, since dating him as made him "my type." Even if we broke things off and a standard "hot guy with huge muscles and nice package type for most" walked up to me now, I would turn him down 100% since he wouldn't even remotely resemble the man I'm with.

Can someone maybe explain better if it's normal to feel that way in this day and age? Am I being toxic and insecure even though I think I'm pretty in a different kind of way? Or do you think maybe he would rather date someone who looks like that and I would be better off dating someone else who prefers my looks or body as a type? We've tried watching porn together but it still made me feel weird since the videos he picked were still so different to what I have. It's not cheating, but it gives me this vibe of him potentially wanting to or him just settling for me instead and wishing for more.

Can anyone (men or women) help me try to rationalize this or maybe explain something I'm not seeing or those who are comfortable with it in monogamous relationships let me know why these factors don't hurt them with their own partner?

My parents had a messy divorce due to cheating when I was young so maybe this is why I'm this sensitive and not seeing the big picture, I'm not entirely sure.

TLDR; I'm secure with myself as a person, but my boyfriend watching porn with women that don't resemble me makes me crazily feel like I'm not enough, or his type and need advice before assuming the worst.

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How do people find partners who truly love them

I (25F) has never had a successful relationship. Every guy I date seems genuinely interested and into me at first, but then he stops trying. I often find myself being the one who's too invested in the relationship, while the other person doesn't seem to mind whether I exist or not. In other words, I always seem to be the one who loves more in the relationship, which makes me miserable and never satisfied.

I think it's worth mentioning that I'm a middle child, and my parents don't show love very well. Growing up, I developed anxious attachment, and I find it hard to leave a relationship even when it's not working for me.

Currently, I'm dating someone (26M) , and we've been together for almost six months. At first, he was so into me, and I felt so happy and secure. He’s very touchy and loves physical affection, which makes me feel loved when we're together. But when we're not together, he often forgets to text, and it makes me wonder whether he loves me or not. This triggers me deeply, bringing back all my fears and insecurities. I'm always the one initiating conversations, and making an effort to keep the connection alive. It feels like I'm the only one invested in this relationship.

To make things more challenging, I have no friends and find it hard to make any. This often leaves me feeling isolated and even more dependent on my partner for emotional support, which I know isn't healthy.

I'm reaching out because I feel lost and don't know how to break this cycle. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you find partners who truly love and care about you? How can I create a healthier, more balanced relationship where I don't feel like I'm always giving more than I'm receiving?

Any advice on how to navigate these feelings and find a fulfilling relationship would be greatly appreciated.

TL;DR: I have never had a successful relationship. I always end up more invested than my partner, which makes me miserable. I'm currently dating someone for 6 months who is very affectionate in person but often forgets to text when we're apart, making me doubt his love. I also have no friends and find it hard to make any.

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Do you really have to choose your partner every day even when you don't feel like it?

Hi guys, I'm looking for some general insights on relationships. I (23F) am in my first serious relationship with my girlfriend (24F). We have been together for a year and a half. She is the first and only person I've ever fallen in love with. During the initial 8-9 months of our relationship, I was so madly in love with her. I even remember making a post about how I have so much love for her that I don't know what to do with it. After we hit our 1 year mark, things started to change a little. Now I know that there is something called the honeymoon phase and it doesn't last forever. This is the stage that I started to notice things about her that I don't like or annoys me. My girlfriend is amazing in general and she's a good person, but just like everyone else (including me), she's not perfect.

Lately, I feel like I've been feeling less connected to her. we still go on dates and activities together, but the general feeling of excitement and butterflies isn't there anymore. I do have fun hanging out with her, but i feel like i don't feel like I'm "crazy" for her anymore. i know I still love her and care for her and want nothing but the best for her. Sometimes I also feel like we're such different people and that maybe I'd be happier with someone more like me. To put it simply, I've begun to wonder how it would be like dating other people, or if I'm really truly happy with her.

I'm not sure about things because this is my first relationship. idk how things are supposed to be. if it's the right person, is it normal to even have doubts about the relationship? I've read about how it's normal to have days where you don't feel too much in love with your partner, and it's a conscious decision to still choose them every day. I agree with this, but sometimes I think about how young I am and this is my first relationship. I don't know if I want to settle with the first person I've ever loved. But on the other hand, I really do truly love her a lot. Part of me does want to spend the rest of my life with her.

I'm just looking for advice in general. thank you very much.

TLDR - Starting to have doubts about the relationship. Should I still continue to choose my partner everyday because I love her?

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My friend (19F) made me(18F) go to house party(I didn't wanted to go there) on my birthday. We've been friends for about 2 years

tl dr;We got in argument during my birthday because I didn't wanted to go where she wanted ( a house party with her friends) I ended up going there because we were at sleepover and I promised my mom to be with her all night, my friend told me if I don't want to go l have to get home.

Also I had to pay for everything (before we were at fancy restaurant also we were using uber to get everywhere). In the morning she was offended by me because I didn't give her 5 dollars.

Her present was only few packages of sweets. She promised to later gift me something special, but didn't do it. We are in one friend group so l don't want get into an argument with her.

I don't want to put a lot of effort into her gift, but I also don't want to look bad in the eyes of others. Her birthday is coming soon and she will celebrate it in a restaurant. What do I do and what present should I get her?

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Considering Starting a Family with My Older Boyfriend: Seeking Advice

Hi everyone, I [F/27] have recently started dating a man [M/55] We've been together for 6 months now. He already has children who are adults and around my age, from a previous relationship with one woman. He was never married and still maintains a very good relationship with her. He sees his children regularly. I don‘t have children.

Recently, he expressed his desire to have another child and start a new family with me. He said he never planned to have more children because he is already happy with his and just wanted to date but when he met me his desire to build a family grew.

This raises some questions for me. How would this dynamic work when he already has an existing family? Additionally, I personally believe that marriage (not the act it self but „to commit“ is important when bringing children into the world (for example to share the same last name, legal-, financial- and parental-rights for both of us) How should I approach the topic of marriage with him? Is it concerning that he has never been married before?

I also wonder why, at his age, he still wants to have more children when he already has some. I'm feeling a bit conflicted and would appreciate some advice. How do you know when you're sure about having a child with someone? What factors should I consider before making such a big decision? Any insights or personal experiences would be incredibly helpful.

Thank you!

TL;DR I’m a 27-year-old woman dating a 55-year-old man who has adult children. He wants to start a new family with me, which raises questions about our dynamic, the importance of marriage, and his desire for more kids at his age. How should I approach these topics and know if I’m ready for a child with him?

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* This article was originally published here

Should I (39F) pursue a long distance relationship with my friend (36M)?

TL;DR; been friends for 11 years and realized my feelings for my friend, which are reciprocated, who lives over a 1000 miles away. Should I pursue a long distance relationship with them?

My friend, let’s call him Aaron, and I first met in undergrad about 11 years ago. We started a research lab together, spending weeks together in the field collecting moths and other insects and hours in the lab sorting them. At the time I thought he was really smart, funny, but got on my dang nerves. I wasn’t interested in him in sort of way other than research colleagues mainly bc he was annoying but also because I was in a long term relationship (LTR) at the time.

Fast forward to me ending things with my LTR, Aaron move to NYC and became a teacher and I went into the private industry, but we remained in contact periodically throughout the years.

We remained friends but when covid hit, him and I became closer, texting frequently and even calling each other, talking about all the time about weirdo science things that we found fascinating.

I could tell that he was developing feelings for me, but I didn’t pay much attention bc we live 1000s of miles apart.

He came to visit 5 year ago, but nothing happened even though I was anticipating that it would. I was too nervous to make a move and come to find out so was he. We just awkwardly enjoyed each others company.

Fast forward through the years and we kept in touch. He would send me shirtless selfies as he glowed up and would tell me, “I wish I could find someone like you.” Again, I ignored it bc of the distance.

Now 5 yrs later he has come to visit again. The other day we hung out, road bikes, and had an absolute wonderful time. While we were chilling at my house, cooling down from the ride, we were sitting really close and I asked him if he would like to make out, to which he enthusiastically agreed. We ended up fooling around but not hooking up.

It was wonderful, the whole experience. He was so gentle but strong and he made me feel safe in his arms, something I haven’t felt for some time.

He told me during that interlude, “I really like you and I have liked you for sometime.”

I came to realize my feelings since that night has passed. He’s everything I want in a partner. He’s sweet, kind, altruistic, cute, funny, wicked smart, and we do all the same hobbies. He’s no longer that annoying 25 year old I met 11 years ago, he’s a full blown man.

So here I am thinking, should I pursue a long distance relationship with him?

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* This article was originally published here

Cheated on early in relationship

TL;DR I was cheated for the first three months we were together and new details keep emerging about what he did with his ex, should I reach out to her to get her truth?

Boyfriend 23M cheated on me 23F from the start of our relationship through 2-3 months into our now 8 month relationship. That I know of. And I decided to stay and I thought l'd be over it by now but I can't let it go as new details always emerge.

First I had a bad feeling in my stomach at 4 months into our relationship and found the texts with his ex on his phone. So I have no idea about phone calls or anything that occurred outside of that or what was deleted. Since we got together he texted her everyday, trying to get her to respond and saying he loved or missed her.

Then I saw they made plans one night, he went to hers and swore he just set a boundary with her. I've felt really troubled by this and it bottles inside me because everytime I bring it up he freaks out over me bringing his difficult past up. So l've started to be petty and argue over little things, seeking some sort of retribution or release while everything inside me hurts. The reason I can't heal is because there's always new details emerging or new excuses that make me question it all. He told me last night that when they saw one another he "thinks" he did kiss her "hello" and thinks he did cuddle with her for 2-3 hours. Now I fear the worst happened. I've never attempted to seek her side of the story since he said she cheated on him and made his life really horrible and is fearful of her coming after him and harassing him if they have contact. Now after seeing he harassed her with no reply for weeks, initiated seeing her in secret and said he loved her at Christmas (her mom had died and she reached out) I do wonder if he doesn't want contact because she'll tell me the truth.

He's been a habitual liar, from little things like what he had for dinner to big things like drug use and talking to his ex. He blames this all on withdrawal from cocaine. It makes me sick when I think about how he voluntarily told me she was out of his life and psychotic and that I was his person. I'm moving in with him this week and starting a new job. I don't know how to handle living with him as he's really hurt me.

Can anyone confirm if withdrawal symptoms are that significant and make someone weak enough to reach out to an ex and cheat? I'm wary to believe him. Ar can anyone tell me if I should or shouldn't reach o the ex? To get her end of events?

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* This article was originally published here

Me 26F and my boyfriend 30M have been together 1 year. He always sticks to set days when we see each other, even if there’s nights when we are both free with no plans. What could be some rationale behind this?

We were talking this week about when we would see each other, and he said Friday and Sunday which is is fine. However, we both have no plans on Saturday night so I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to spend it together if we are both not doing anything anyway? I don’t want to be clingy and ask him or tell him when he obviously doesn’t want to spend the Saturday night with me, otherwise he would have suggested then.

tl;dr Me 26F and my boyfriend 30M are both free with no plans on Saturday night, yet he doesn’t want to spend it together

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* This article was originally published here

How do I support my partner? How do we get through this?

I(F23) have spent the week gutted completely. I had my son 3 years ago and have really tried losing the weight but instead due to financial stress and poor mental health, I instead have gained weight. Me and my partner(M25) have since moved to another country where all my family are and we’ve been able to not need to pay for child care and both work. From this I’ve spent the last 8 weeks being able to afford healthier options and had lost some weight.

We were told about 3-4 weeks ago my partners grandad is terminal. He has no one else once his grandad passes and he lives back in the other country and my partners only able to go see him at the end of each month. Now for the part where it all fucked up.

He went down for 4 days to see him and whilst down he received an anonymous text I had cheated with someone I work with. This just isn’t true and god I’d never do that to him especially during this situation when me and my son are all he has now really. Given his already bad headspace he went out and cheated. Spent 12 hours with her speaking cuddling. He was planning on just leaving me but he came back and immediately regretted what happened. He said at the time he did feel heard and understood and validated by someone who wasn’t me but that now he’s told me everything he feels really guilty and regretful given I’ve not actually done anything and his really bad head frame right now.

As much as this has gut punched me, I cannot find it in me to leave. I know he’s in such a bad head space and the text he received tipped him over the edge. I’m not looking for anyone to tell me to leave either. He was honest with me and he does truly want to be with me but with the way I currently look I’m missing the one box that’s important which is sexually. I used to be a lot thinner and active in our sex and now I feel so down about my weight sex has become a struggle and I can’t be as much of a participant as I once was and it sucks so badly.

I mean I’m barely eating now because I honestly don’t know any other way for me to lose weight especially quickly. I have one small meal a day and just suck on some mints to stop the need to snack during the day and so far seems to somewhat work.

Please anyone who has been through this situation, how can I support him? How did yous get through it?

TL:DR my partner is going through a rough time and cheated.

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* This article was originally published here

Is speed dating worth it? [25F]

So, I'm 25F, I finished 2 - year relationship lately and now I feel I am ready to go back to the dating market. I thought of dating apps but I found an idea of speed dating on the internet. It is about person paying low amount of money to get to a place where she can meet some people of opposite gender and maybe try to get along with them and date them later. Does anyone have an experience with this and could tell me if it's worth it?

tl;dr i want to go back to dating and i think of trying speed dating

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* This article was originally published here

Should i end things with my boyfriend?

Hi, this has recently been all that's on my mind and I have no clue what to do. I am 14/F and my boyfriend is 14/M. I have recently started questioning whether or not I actually want to be in this relationship. We have been together for a bit over 2 months. It has been good, and I love him, but it's just.. There's something wrong. The way we don't have that connection, it's like we are just telling ourselves that we do love each other, and that we are happy. But, I just don't feel 100% about this. I mean.. I've seen how he treats his dad, all because he doesn't wanna do school work, and how he talks to his friends, argues with them, argues with everyone. I just... I don't know what to do. I mean he is really nice, but I just don't wanna date him anymore, but I do at the same time. I don't really wanna hurt his feelings either, but uh, I just don't know. We have english together tomorrow morning, and we sit together at lunch breaks with our friends. But when it's just us, it's just awkward, to say the least. Before we started dating,andb up until a few weeks ago everything was good, but I just don't know if I want to stay in this relationship. I mean, we've talked about meeting each others parents, and about about me coming over to his, but I just don't know. So please, if anyone can help me figure what to do, that would be so so helpful.

TL;DR

Basically, I'm not sure about me and my boyfrienda relationship.Hits been good up until now (2 months), but I've started to notice the way he treats people when things don't go his way, and I'm not sureiwe actually love each other. We are both 14, but I still dowannak figure something out, because this is driving meiinsane...

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Boyfriend went to the bar last night and still hasn’t come home at 8am

My (25f) bf (30m) went out with friends last night and it is now 8am and he still hasn’t come home.

He said he was only going to go to his friends for a couple hours, then they ended up going out to a concert. At 12am he texted me saying that he has a ride home and he will be coming home soon. I then saw on location sharing they went to the bar.

His phone is on silent. I’ve tried texting him and calling him. His location hasn’t updated for 6 hours and it shows the bar as his last location. I don’t know how to feel. We have been on very rocky grounds lately, and I honestly felt a little uncomfortable with him getting drunk in the first place because he always takes it too far.

I’m worried, I’m angry, and I don’t know what to do when he walks in the door. I don’t know if he fell asleep at a friends, is in the hospital or jail, or evened up staying with some girl.

Tldr; boyfriend went to the bar with friends last night and has now 8am and he still hasn’t come home

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* This article was originally published here

Love Island's Harriett and Ronnie share relationship update since exit - Yahoo News Canada

Love Island's Harriett and Ronnie share relationship update since exit  Yahoo News Canada

* This article was originally published here

I can't stand my step-sister even if she is nice to me

Hi reddit, i apologize in advance for any possible mistake but english is not my first language.

I'm a 19 years old male and my mom (F45) married married in 2021 my step-father (M45). My mom and dad divorced in 2016 and she got the main custody. I was happy for her, expecially since my step-father is a good person and from the beginning he always has been nice to me. After the marriage they bought a house with the plan of living there all together. I knew he had a daughter one year younger than me(F18), but they never organized anything for us to meet so i never pressured them into anything, i met her like a month before the wedding but it has been awkward since none of us actually interacted with the other and just acknowledged our presence. But once we moved in she immediately became all sweet and lovey-dovey with me, telling how much she wanted to have a step-brother, how she wanted to know me better,etc... i tried to welcome her but i never felt comfortable around her, as if i always had to walk on eggshells and shared the house with a stranger, i just forced myself to be nice because i didn't wanted to "disappoint" my mother and my step-father. I don't hate her, but spending time with her it feels like an homework more than something i enjoy, everytime she calls me or suggest something we can do together, i feel annoyed inside and force myself to smile and accept, it has been like that for the last 3 years and i just can't see her as my step-sister, as someone i should be close with. Maybe it's because i've never had any sibling but i can't understand why i feel this way and sometimes i even feel guilty because of it, she and my mom formed a great relationship like me and her dad. Why can't i even feel an hint of affection towards her? But a part of me also doesn't trust her because people who are too over-friendly from the beginning without even knowing me, it makes me feels like they have a hidden reason for it.

TL;DR, I can't stand my step-sister despite she is nice to me and I feel guilty for it.

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how do i have this conversation with my husband?

first i want to say that i tired to post this in r/relationship-advice but it wouldn’t let me post

so, 6 months ago i had a son. my husband (25m) and i(23f) smoke weed (i didn’t during pregnancy or breastfeeding) and he does get CHA (marijuana sickened) every month or 2. well he got sick the day after my son was home so from the time we were discharged to about a week later i was caring for a baby by myself after a c section. i understand he was sick and it saddens me i had to go through that alone it was so hard and taxing and i even had second thoughts about my child witch i regret every day. but even when he’s not sick he barely helps out unless i ask him to or he’s alone with the baby and he’s the only caregiver for him. but that’s not my only issue here, ever since i’ve recovered and we have been having sex again, it’s just seems like all he wants from me is sex. not like he ignores me throughout the day, but when i want to go to bed, i either go alone because he won’t ever come with me, or if he does it’s only to have sex and he leaves the room again for hours. i asked him if i could just have his love and some cuddles and his reply was “i’m sorry.” it’s just makes me feel so gross like at this point that’s all i am to him. his child mother, and someone to have sex with.

i’m i over reacting to the situation or should i have a sit down with him? i’m just so worried about it messing up my relationship. he dosnt keep cool well and gets aggravated/annoyed/mad very quickly and stays in that mood. after he’s like that the only way the conversation ends is if i give in and agree with him. so idk what to do. also he know i have a reddit but he dosnt have one so i hope he dosnt find this.

tl;dr : my husband dosnt want to help with baby unless asked and seems to only want to be in the room to have sex with me, no cuddles or love.

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My SO of 2 years refuses to add me on social media

TLDR boyfriend won’t add me on social media even though I’ve asked him to. He said he doesn’t use it but I feel that’s not the real reasons why he’s so against it.

I am a 44F nd have been in a serious relationship with my partner 43M for almost 2 years. We have talked about getting married and are moving in together at the end of the year. I’ve met all his family and friends and am very much included in his life. He however refuses to add me on social media.

He has a Facebook and insta account he rarely uses. I can see he has zero posts and less than 20 friends on there. When I’ve asked him about adding him he said “I only use it for work or I don’t use it”. I called him out on this reason as I’m friends with his friends on socials and I can see they are added there. When I commented about that he said something like “oh they added me when I first joined that’s the only reason we are friends”

I had said to him once early on, that I intended to add him there eventually and he was very negative about it and said “Whyyy” I feel his reaction to social media add was negative and unnecessarily inflexible.

He told me a story once about how he used it years earlier when he was on online dating and she made comments on his tagged photos and friends list. I think he felt judged and that his privacy was invaded by this. I also know that he just came out of a pretty coercive and controlling DV relationship where his ex wife monitored his phone records, checked through his phone etc

Regardless, I still feel upset that he doesn’t trust me with his limited social information and won’t share this aspect of his life with me. I feel he’s not being forthcoming about his real reasons why he doesn’t want to be my friend there.

I’ve raised this issue a few times and he refuses to change his mind about it. Any thoughts or insights to help me resolve this ? Should I just add him and see if he accepts? Should I talk to him about it again?

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'90s Baby Show' talk love & relationships with Simi - grmdaily.com

'90s Baby Show' talk love & relationships with Simi  grmdaily.com

* This article was originally published here