TLDR - might be going on a first date with an online match soon and i’ve convinced myself i don’t look like my pictures and he’ll be disgusted by me, and i want to know if this is irrational.
hi guys - i’m 18F, bisexual, and about to go on my first date with a man. i’ve been on one date before, with a woman, but that was after we had met in person and i kind of convinced myself she didn’t actually like me since she was drunk when she showed interest in me but i digress. i’m a really insecure person. i’ve done a lot of work over the years and feel secure that i’m an interesting and kind person with goals and passions and hobbies and humours and i don’t think i’m entirely ugly. i know how to look good in pictures but i feel like my pictures don’t show my major insecurities which are my weight (i’m chubby, thick thighs and a fair bit of stomach, but i’m straight-size. kind of a middle ground that causes a lot of body dysmorphia lol) and my teeth which have some discolouration and chipping from enamel problems and just like. are uneven and look awful in pictures. but my social media/dating profiles dont show that, and i know no one highlights their insecurities in online posts, but i feel like this particular shame about it, like i owe a warning to anyone who shows interest in me.
ANYWAY, i matched with this guy in december and he’s the only person from these apps that i’ve actually held an interesting conversation with. we lost touch during my situationship with the aforementioned girl but reconnected in late january and have been talking wayyy more in the past month. he’s so wonderful, had the coolest tattoos and stuff, isn’t a creep, has amazing hobbies and really similar values. i really really like him. and i think he’s asked me out for next week but i’m scared shitless that he’ll be disgusted by me in person. he just seems so out of my league and i want to tell him about my insecurities but i don’t want to draw attention to them because maybe he won’t fixate on them if i don’t. but i’m just so scared because i already know i’ll be a nervous wreck on the day and feeling insecure would amplify that so much more. but he seems interested in me and has liked my instagram stories that show my full body but obviously not side angles, stretch marks, the full picture so i dunno. maybe he knows i’m not particularly skinny and just doesn’t care. this is kind of a mindless ramble so i’m sorry. i guess i just want to jnow if this is an irrational anxiety
thank you
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