Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been dating for a bout a year and a half now, we’ve definitely had our ups and downs but we probably haven’t gotten into any sort of argument or disagreement lasting more than 10 mins in the past 6 months or so. For the most part, things are pretty good.
Due to different summer internships we’ve been long distance for almost a month or so now. Recently, we had a phone call where very drunkenly she was saying how much she cant wait to have sex and it has been so long. I just sort of let her talk and didn’t rlly respond cause she was sloshed, but I am really not looking forward to it.
Backstory, so we used to have sex like all the time, many times per week, but starting in January I’d say it moved to maybe 1/2 times a month, I just stopped initiating it unless she said “im horny” or something. She is a really sexual person so it bothered her a lot, though she only brought it up a couple times rlly passively just sayinf “we haven’t rlly had sex in a while” and i would just say “yea i think you’re right”, but I saw in her texts when we were with each other that she seemed pretty upset by it. Sex has been kind of a big part of our relationship, previously as well, lots of trying new things, exploring kinks, etc. She loves any and all sex, like doesn’t matter, she is a very horny person, so she doesn’t even care if I don’t remember to do stuff she likes, like spitting, slapping, rope play, etc, which happens sometimes cause i am very vanilla and have to very consciously thinking to do those sorts of things.
The things is, I just don’t want to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriend is beautiful with a shelf of an ass, and I am extremely attracted to her. But lately it feels sex requires so much energy and mental focus that I really just don’t want to dedicate, like I find myself just constantly thinking abt when it will be over, or sometimes I just make her cum with my hands to begin with because she’ll be too sensitive for actual sex after. For the sake of horniness I much rather spend a couple minutes jacking off. We won’t be seeing each other for another month but I just don’t know what to do. The thought of having sex just isn’t very appealing and I don’t want to have to keep faking the enthusiasm to not hurt her feelings.
She used to be overweight, way before I knew her, so it is really hard to have convos pertaining to sex cause instantly she think, “oh it must be because I’m not skinny and tan enough” which is so far from true it is ridiculous.
TL;DR: I am in a great loving relationship with my girlfriend, but i’ve lost the urge to have sex with her.
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