Hi all,
For context; my partner (28M) and I (25F) have been together for just over a year and we are long distance so really only see each other on weekends.
I really need some advice because my heart hurts.
So, for the last maybe 6 months, my partner and I have spend less and less time going out and doing things together, asides from the rare occasion where we will go for a drive or go out for food somewhere. (The last time we went out just the two of us together was to get food at the beginning of July, I did start a new job shortly after this so we didn't see each other every weekend like normal, so that's not quite as bad as it sounds.)
The part that gets me, however, is he spends a lot of time going out to spend time with his friends. When we've spoken about this, his answer has been that: he goes out with his friends for a drive in the evening/night when he has more energy, but I'm too tired to do things with him at that time. His wording was "you're too tired at night and I'm too tired during the day." There have been times where I've gotten to the point where I so badly want to do something with him that I've bit the bullet whilst I'm exhausted to go out for a drive with his friends in the evenings because I feel like that's the only time I can do something with him. It upsets me that I'm willing to do this, but he's not able to do the same for me when the roles are reversed.
I also get upset that on the occasion where he mentions something he'd like to do together, it's been something to do with his friends. The two that spring to mind that he's mentioned recently have been going on a double date to get food with his 2 friends and going to a car meet together (with his friends.) I'm happy to do it because, again, I want to spend time with him, but on the other hand, I don't want the only time we spend time together to be with his friends. I just want some quality time with my boyfriend and right now it really feels like I'm asking for too much.
Am I in the wrong for being upset at this?
Sometimes he goes out multiple days in a row with them, but each time we plan to do something it seems he's too tired.
Last weekend I suggested we go to the cinema, he agreed but the day of, he said he was too tired and spent most of the day sleeping. This weekend we planned to go for a drive, he wanted to have a nap first because he was tired, but ended up sleeping for too long and then it was too late.
I completely understand that he works nights and he's tired but it never used to be this bad, we used to do so much more but now we spend more time sat inside together. Don't get me wrong, I love sitting down to watch some shows with him and have a cuddle or playing video games together but I just want to go somewhere and do something together, go watch a film, go see some new sights, go play bowling or go to the gaming place we have. I've made so many suggestions and they just never go anywhere. I'm 25 years old and I feel like I'm just spending my life indoors and not making any memories.
I'm so fucking sad, I love this man with all my heart, he's genuinely the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I just can't stand not doing things together.
I want to clarify that I don't care if he goes out with his friends multiple times, that is not my issue at all. My issue stems from, he's doing all this but he doesn't have the energy to do things with me. If he went out with his friends and spent time doing things with me, I'd be totally okay. I just want to spend time with my partner and make memories together.
Any advice would be so helpful because I'm truly losing my marbles right now, I feel like the bad guy here because I'm getting so upset at him but at the end of the day, all I want is that quality time.
TL;DR - My partner is too tired to spend time with me, but spends a lot of time with his friends. I get upset because I see him doing this and I just wonder why we can't find a way to do this too.
[link] [comments]
* This article was originally published here
No comments:
Post a Comment