Wife’s (32f) poor treatment of me (32m). What am I doing to deserve this? How can I fix it?

My wife (32f) and I (32m) have been together 4 years, we have dated on and off prior to this but consistently together 4 years.

She had our first baby within the last year, and ever since she was pregnant, she doesn’t treat me the same. She has a short fuse, always snaps back at me, or is less than kind. This is getting to the point that I don’t even really try and converse with her because 50% of the time or more, I get some snappy, frustrated, or condescending response.

Prior to getting pregnant and having the baby, she was sweet, kind, affectionate, and very into me. We had a pretty passionate bedroom and the passion translated out of the bedroom as well. It was like the honeymoon phase on steroids. Now it’s turned into a dead bedroom, and what feels like a dying relationship. I’m critiqued about almost everything I do, or say. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss the passion in the bedroom, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I was treated with general respect, or had some stress relief. Also, I don’t really want to initiate anything, because of the day to day treatment is kind of a turn off. She is very well spoken, and focused in her remarks. Whereas I’m more of a reserved, kind person who tends to avoid confrontation.

I’ve been an attentive husband, I help with the baby as much as I can. Whether that be diapers, feeding, house maintenance, dinner\meals. Anything. Going from work, to family\house care nonstop to the point where I’m getting burnt out on all fronts. I’ve brought this to her attention, because I’d rather deal with it directly, than to be passive aggressive about it. This turned into her feeling horrible, crying, and me consoling her. I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible, because pregnancy, nursing, first time childcare is taxing, and a hormonal time. But I’m getting to my wits end.

Hopefully this all makes sense and I didn’t miss any details. This was kind of a vent to help relieve some stress, as well as if anyone has advice. I’ll try and clarify any missing points as they arise.

TL;DR my wife is rude and condescending to me after pregnancy and baby, and I’m getting fed up with the treatment and lack of intimacy.

Edit: another thought came to mind

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