Staying in a city I don’t like for my relationship

Hi

I (f28) moved to this city about 1,5 years ago but I still can’t seem to like it here. It’s also in a different country but very close to my home country and the culture is similar. Me and my bf (m38) have a healthy and loving relationship.

When I moved here it was partly because of circumstances back home. My home city & country has a severe housing shortage and rapidly rising rents which made it impossible to find a place. On top of that I was unhappy in my job..so leaving felt like the best option especially given the financial pressure. My boyfriend earns a good income and supports us both. He owns the apartment we live in so I don’t pay rent and he never makes me feel like I owe him anything. He genuinely wants to take care of me.

I’ve been running my own business for four years but back in my home country I had to treat it as a side hustle because of the unpredictable income and the need to pay my rent. Now living with my boyfriend I can focus on my business full time. He even set up an office for me and supports my independence. I’m earning well ,saving money and my boyfriend fully encourages this.

Financially I’m secure and my relationship is filled with love and understanding. I have the freedom to pursue my hobbies, attend therapy, and do whatever I want without worry. We also take vacations often and overall my life is stable and good. But despite all this I still don’t like it here. After spending 10 days back in my home country I realize how much I miss it! The language, the social people and just feeling like I belong. I never thought the mentality would be so different given how close the countries are but it is.

My boyfriend can’t move to my home country due to his business but he’s open to planning a future move there for a smoother transition. However I’m struggling with whether I can stick it out until then because I’m so unhappy.

I really don’t know what to do. I value the stability I have now especially since I had a traumatic childhood where security was lacking and I truly love my boyfriend. But I’m so unhappy because I feel like I can’t express myself or form connections here. Has anyone been in this situation or have any ideas/ words of wisdom? What would you do?

tl;dr: I moved abroad to live with my boyfriend which I am in a healthy relationship with. Despite this I miss my home country and feel unhappy here. My boyfriend can't move now and I'm struggling to stay.

I have to add that objectively speaking this city/ country offers a higher quality of life. The streets are cleaner, it feels much more safe here , beautiful nature and much less homeless people here.

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* This article was originally published here