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Tuesday, August 13, 2024

She suddenly started treating me like a stranger

For background - I am 19 years old, found a job, night shifts to be specific, and soon after I met a girl there. Things at first were doing fine, I would take a bus to work, we were always taking the same bus as she lives close to me. I remember that I was first to initiate this so called "relationship", I mean - I approached her first, began with some small talk, but pretty soon after I noticed we had really nice conversations, even she used to talk to me first as we were meeting on the bus a couple times, was asking me if she could see me off, and viceversa.

No matter if she was tired or not, she just wanted to keep up the conversation, we used to return home together on foot as we were leaving the bus. It was all okay until... it wasn't. First week since we met it was all fine, but I can't say the same thing about the second. Suddenly, I stopped seeing her in a bus, although we had the same shift at work. It wasn't a big deal for me as of course, she could have taken yet another bus.

Things started getting weird when I was returning from work. Instead of her approaching me after shift, she would see me at a stop and then stand a few meters turning away, without saying anything. Eventually, we were taking the same bus back home. But... she started to treat me like a stranger. She didn't really care if I sat next to her or not, not even mentioning about talking about anything. At first I was like: okay, I get it, we don't need to talk over and over, but this time there was such an odd feeling - like, we're not talking because we need some time for ourselves, but rather - we don't talk, because she doesn't like me. The weirdest part was when we were getting off the bus as we were going home. She suddenly chose the other door, walked away from me without exchanging a word, not even a single "bye" or "goodnight", just as if two strangers were going with the same bus.

Next time we were going home was even more bizarre. She just suddenly got off on a different stop, and said she has to go, just without any reason. I remember that earlier she used to tell me some details, it really used to look like she cared about me. I don't really know what to think about it, did she just get bored with me or no longer wants to meet me. I noticed that first she picks a seat but doesn't really care if I sit close to her or not, she's just rushing to a seat, not looking if I am with her or not. I used to sit close to her anyway, just to return together, not necessarily to talk about something. Maybe this is what she found uncomfortable?

Throughout the years I learned how to read people's emotions but it seems like a no advantage to me sometimes. I started making scenarios in my head, I stopped sleeping well, started feeling like sh*t at work. I feel like she no longer cares about me, or even worse, no longer wants to know me. Right now I don't have enough time to talk with her about it - as I get to work I don't see her, while waiting for the bus on the way home she doesn't want to talk or ignores me. Not only that, we also finish on different hours sometimes.

What's also weird, from approachable and talkative person she suddenly turned into "introvert", said she likes travelling alone.

While working we hardly ever talk, since it's a physical work and we don't have time.

Before someone says "she needs time", I want to say that if we really had good time together she would probably tell me that she needs it. Otherwise, she just no longer wants to know me. Currently I have no idea and have really bad feelings that keep me away from falling asleep, that's why I'm typing this. If you guys were in similar situation just let me know how to deal with it. Honestly, I don't want to be some sort of desperate so I am going to wait a while for some advice or when my mood gets better. Usually, when something is wrong, I trust my intuition (but I have to admit that I first deny my intuition, just to have some doubts in case and not to judge too quickly), which often doesn't fail or eventually I am absolutely mistaken. I talked to my best friend about it, he said that it's just my view on that and doesn't have to be true, and I shouldn't give someone a label.

"Just move on" - hard to say it to a person that makes strong bonds with newly met people I had a great talk with and will meet them multiple times. Probably that says a lot about me.

Seriously, I don't know if my mind is just playing with me or just gives me a subtle warning that something is wrong. If you read all this, just thanks. Right now I'm trying to get to sleep. Feel free to ask questions <3

TL;DR - I met a girl at work, firstly had long and nice conversations, used to get the same bus, but suddenly she started avoiding me for some reason, before and after work. I seriously doubt if she still likes me.

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* This article was originally published here

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